I guess I just wanted to see what all of the fuss was about, but now I feel a little silly wanting to watch Twilight on the week of its home video release. Like the teenage protagonists here (one human female, one undead male), 
I found myself quietly laughing throughout the film, yet for me the reaction was not a result of my hormone-riddled awkwardness, but because the film has a tendency to be so unintentionally funny. I have never really embraced the work of director Catherine Hardwicke, and it has nothing to do with her ridiculous braid hairstyle. I thought her directorial debut, Thirteen, was well done. But since then just listening to her talk about her films makes my face go into a squint. Here she shows that she knows nothing of subtlety or proportion.
I vaguely recall my teenage years being somewhat uncomfortable and awkward. But the dialog that emanates from every one of the cast of high-school student characters, combined with the painfully overwrought delivery, is so cringeworthy that I wonder if Hardwicke and her made-for-TV screenwriter, Melissa Rosenberg, actually wanted the audience to experience some sort of pubescent anxiety attack. I applaud the casting director for doing something unusual by choosing visually interesting actors for each member of the large principal cast – and not just the blood-sucking ones. But then Hardwicke piles on the pregnant pauses and moody reaction shots to a blatantly nauseating degree. Maybe she just told her young actors, “Hey dudes, go rent Rebel Without a Cause. I want each and every one of you to be James Dean, but let’s pump up the angst even more, okay?” Of course the Deanest of the Deans (with a sprinkle of the campiest Johnny Depp) is Robert Pattinson as vamp hero Edward Cullen. 
But someone explain this to me: If you have been 17 for the better part of a century, and have a collection of graduation caps on the wall, wouldn’t you have grown out of your teenage romantic buffoonery? Even if it’s true what he tells Bella Swan (great name), “[pause] [stare] [head tilt] [squint] [in a low voice] . . . I’ve been looking for you all my life,” wouldn’t he have matured emotionally by, say, his 45th year of high school? His undead body shouldn’t even have hormones any more. Oh, it’s just all . . . too . . . much.
The baseball scene was good. There, I’ve said something nice. Can I go back to home room now?
Here are this morning’s Oscar-nominated films, alphabetically. The nominees for foreign language film and documentary feature are compiled at the end of the list. (Short format nominees are listed in a 
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